Take the sour with the sweet
by shhh-81
Summary: Bella is getting married soon. Or is she. Billy, Charlie and the rest of the pack have asked her to help them track Jacob. Will her love for Edward prevail or will the warm embrace of Jacob seduce her to stay human. Rated M just in case.
1. Chapter 1

This is taken place Post Eclipse. So if you haven't read it sorry it this ruins it for you. This is my first fan fic. I am so nervous. Anyway please R&R even flames accepted (I need the sour with the sweet).

**Disclaimer: disclaimer- disclaimer: I own nothing but my own idea. All the character and the story line etc, belong to STEPHANIE MEYERS. **

Bella's POV (will be mostly)

Charlie took the news about the wedding way better then I was expecting. I thought Rene would have been more approving. She went crazy. First she screamed at us for like twenty minutes. Then she asked me if I was pregnant. I laughed at her and told her that I still hadn't done anything. We told them that we still didn't have a date but we were planning to do it before my next birthday. Charlie pulled me to the side and asked if about Jacob. I winced at the name. I was trying to prove to myself that all I needed was Edward but I still continued to think about King Solomon. I only cried when I was by myself now so that no one would say anything. Here I was still lying on the couch in Edward's room. Rene and Phil were coming up in two weeks to help with the wedding. I gave her Alice's phone number so they could talk. It had been almost a month that I last saw Jacob. Since then besides getting dragged with Alice and the talk with Charlie I have been here on this couch.

Alice was having way too much fun planning for the wedding. And although I wanted this (I did want this right?) my mind kept wondering away to my dad, and mom and Jacob. I winced at the thought of his face. I just keep on hurting him. Why do I keep on thinking about him when I have what I want! (I did have want I want right?) I continue to doubt myself and all my decisions. I sighed and rolled over.

Just then Edward walked into the room. He glanced over at me with a raised brow. I had been lying on the couch for almost the whole day. It was early afternoon now. I hardly even ate anymore.

Um, Bella? Are you ok?" he asked walking softly to my side. I shuddered and just nodded my head. It was times like these that I was glad that he couldn't read my mind. I looked at him and my eyes were full of guilt. Now I am going to hurt him too.

"What are you thinking about? Is it Charlie?" he was so concerned. I wiped at the darn tears swelling up in my eyes and nodded again. He smiled softly at me with those golden eyes. I sat up slightly on the couch and looked at him. He was staring at me so lovingly. I did not deserve this. And for some reason I couldn't get Jacob at of my thoughts. I blushed because I was letting my mind wonder to Jacob with Edward right in front of me. Edward smiled completely misinterpreting the signal. I sighed and smiled back.

"Bella, I actually came to get you. Charlie called and wants to talk to you. I think that it has something to do with that dog." He muttered. I gasped! What would Charlie have to say about Jacob? I know that this could not be good. I noticed that I was frozen. I started biting on my nails.

"Breathe Bella. It's going to be ok. I promise I won't let anything happen to you." Edward said instantly at my side holding onto my arm. I nodded again. I rose slowly from the couch and crept out the door. My mind was racing through the possibilities of what this was about. At the door I stopped abruptly. I wanted to apologize, to hide in a closet or -what was going to happen-cry. I wasn't scared

"Uh, Edward. I think I should go to my dad alone. You don't mind do you?" I ended softly with a bit of embarrassment. Edwards face harden and he was about to say something but shut his mouth and nodded.

"I'll drop you off and you call me when you are ready for me to pick you up" He slowed said to stop his voice from rising into a growl. I blinked then nodded quickly and continued to his Volvo. He beat me to the door and opened it. I smiled gently at him and he grinned back. His eyes were not their usual golden. They were swirled with red and black. I knew he was not happy about me going alone but I think that I owe Charlie that much considering how I left.

We drove in silence and when we got to Charlie's house, all the lights were on and there was another car in the driveway. I nervously glanced at Edward to read his expression but his face was still hard and blank. I could see that he was clenching his teeth. He turned to me and kissed me hard. It left me breathless but worried. He was at my door in seconds and opened it for me. I couldn't help but think that I still didn't deserve him. I took a deep breathe and got out. I turned toward the door when he grabbed my waist and pulled me to him. He kissed me like he was never going to kiss me again. That made my stomach knot up. I could feel the tears starting to sting but I blinked them away furiously.

"I just want to tell you that I love you Bella Swan no matter what you choose." He said swiftly and before I could answer he was in the car and gone. I turned to walk to Charlie's house again. I open the door and saw Charlie sitting on the stool. I heard other voices that were not the TV.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer: disclaimer- disclaimer: I own nothing but my own idea. All the character and the story line etc, belong to STEPHANIE MEYERS. **

"Dad?" I called from the door. I heard rushing and lower voices.

"Bella! I am so glad to see you! Thanks for coming. Is _He_ with you?" Charlie said practically running to hug me. He basically carried me into the living room and I saw who the voices belonged to. Billy and Sam. I smiled at them with a raised eyebrow.

"We weren't expecting you Bells. I didn't think you were going to come. But I am glad you did!" Charlie said more calm this time.

"Hi Billy. Hi Sam. How's Emily?" I said greeting them properly. I was so nervous and I was not for sure why. Billy nodded and Sam stood.

"How are you Bella?" Billy said with the same mystic voice like the night at the bonfire. I sat down on Charlie's old seat. _Breathe Bella, this may not be as bad as you think_, I had to keep telling myself.

"So dad. What's up? What did you want to talk to me about?" I said turning to him. I watched his face change from happy to worried. I noticed Sam's brow tighten and his jaw flinch. Billy readjusted himself with a slight cough.

"Well we all wanted to talk to you. It's like this Bells. We need your help." Charlie breathes at last. Billy nodded and pulled closer to me.

"Bella. It's Jake. He has gone missing. He just took off and we wanted to know if you would go with Sam and Quil to look for him. I promise you will be back for the wedding." He finished with a hint of anger in his voice. I glanced at Sam. His eyes were filled with worrying. He stood up quickly and walked toward me. I jumped up also. He looked to the door; I nodded and followed. Charlie and Billy stayed there in the living room. When we got outside Sam stopped and faced the forest. He took a deep breath.

"Bella, I think that Jake." He stopped like he was fighting something inside. He was going to tall me something that I was not supposed to know. "I think that Jake has imprinted." He stopped and continued to look into the forest. His breathe still heavy.

"That's great Sam! What's so bad about that? I thought you would be happy for him when that happened. To who, who is the lucky girl!" I was ecstatic. I felt like I had been freed to make the decision. Then I noticed his facial expression had worsened like I punched him the stomach. My mind starting clicking with the possibilities.

"Sam. Who is it?" I asked again slowly. I think I already knew. I needed the confirmation that I was scared of. Sam looked up to the sky. He drew in a breathe that filled his entire being.

"I think that you already know Bella. I wished I could change it but I see how he looks at you. I think that he has been denying it so he wouldn't be so hurt but it didn't work. None of us has transformed lately to give him his privacy. But I don't want him to be lost like the legend." Sam spilled out with the breath that he just inhaled. My mouth dropped and tears started stinging my eyes again. I blinked and blinked but they refused to be silenced. I forgot how to talk. That's why Edward said that.

"Where is he Sam? Where is Jacob? What do I do? I am so confused. I have lost in the battle to decide. This is too difficult. Can it be changed? Am I always going to be the one for him Sam?" I babbled out between sobs. Sam just nodded or shook in reply. He never looks away from the forest.

"Bella lets go find him. Please. It may have lasting affects on him is he stays like that too long." Sam pleaded. He turned to look at me and I could see his eyes were red and filled with pain. I could not resist. Jacob was my best friend. No he _is _my best friend. But he is more than that. I only nodded. He smiled slightly then turned to go tell Billy and Charlie. I was frozen there. I saw something move in the forest. _Edward?_ I thought but suddenly Quil walked out the forest. He had the same pained look on his face as Sam. He walks over to me and hugged me.

"Thanks for helping us Bella. You know Jake really loves you so hopefully he will listen to you." He said while still hugging me. I could not speak instead something like a grunt crawled out. Charlie, Billy and Sam came out the house with two hiking backpacks. Charlie came over to my side and hugged me. I smiled weakly at him.

"Thanks Bells. You are so good to do this." Charlie said and Billy nodded in agreement. I took a deep breath.

"I need to tell Edward that I am going to help find Jacob." I said softly starring at the ground. Sam walked up and put his hand on my shoulder. I looked at him.

"He already knows." Was all he said and I nodded. Charlie looked from me to Sam to Billy. Then with that Sam and Quil took the bags and we were off. I waved again to Charlie and I hoped that Edward did not hate me for this. I sighed and walked in between Sam and Quil; to the darkness of the forest. About two hours of walking in quietness they stopped, Sam turned to me.

"I am going to change Bella, go by Quil. I need to find Jacob." He handed me the bag while pushing me softly toward where Quil was standing. I turned away to not look at him. Quil grinned. "It's ok Bella. You can look" he said goofily. I shook my head. Then I heard heavy breathing and grunts. I turned and saw that in the place where Sam stood was a large black wolf with his eyes closed. All of a sudden he took off. Quil and I looked at each other a bit puzzled. Then Quil shrugged and started gathering wood for a fire. He had a tent and fire up and going in no time.

"What is going on Quil? Where did he go?" I said after what seemed like hours. Quil looked up from one of the bags that he was now rummaging through in search of food.

"He went to go talk to Jake. Maybe this will be easier then we thought" He said in triumphant. He pulled out some packages of freeze dried food packages. I grimaced at the thought of eating that stuff.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter3**

**Disclaimer: disclaimer- disclaimer: I own nothing but my own idea. All the character and the story line etc, belong to STEPHANIE MEYERS. **

_**This chapter is going to have some dream parts. If you don't get it tell me so I can explain or fix it or something. R&R please!**_

I really didn't want to eat anything especially not anything freeze dried. I just grabbed a sleeping bag and lay down. I watched the trees dance in the wind. They were hypnotic the way the flowed with the wind. I started slipping into sleep. My mind was being taken to a different world. _I saw Jacob running in the forest. But he was he reddish brown wolf. He would stop and howl in pain and then keep running. He suddenly stopped and turned to look directly at me. At my soul. He walked to me and laid his head on my shoulder. He was whimpering. I started to stroke his fur softly. I kissed his the top of his furry head. Then he started changing into Jacob again. "Bella. Oh Bella I love you!" he cried. Then I just cried and held onto him. Then Edward came. "Bella, please come with me. I love you!" he whispered. Jacob growled. "No Bells. Stay with me. I need you! You need me!" I stood up and looked at both of them. Edward facing, and baring teeth to, Jacob who had already turned into his beautiful wolf-self. "You must choose Bells" I heard Billy's voice said flutter in the air. "Life or Death. It has always been your choice." I started shaking and sobbing. "I don't know what to do. I love them both!" I cried out to the moon. _

"Bella! Bella!" Quil said shaking me so I would wake up. I jumped up and noticed I was still crying. I had to choose. I knew that it was going to be the hardest thing I ever has to do. Sam knelt beside me and placed his heavy hands on my shoulders.

"We must go now. I found him. He doest not believe that you are here too. So we have to go to him. Are you ready?" Sam stared into me. All I could do was whimper and nod. I was still shaking from the dream. "_I'm sorry Edward. I love you!" _was all I could think at that moment. Sam grabbed the bags and did one nod in Quils' direction. Quil jumped up and grabbed me. We were all silent as we started to walk. Of course I tripped on air and what seemed like everything else as well.

I allowed my mind to wonder back to the dream. I could feel the cool wind caressing my cheek. I closed my eyes and took in the air. Quil was behind me and Sam in front. I felt Sam glance back a few times at me. I think to see if I had stopped crying yet. I hadn't. And I did not plan on stopping any time soon. I just needed Jacob. I needed to see him, hold him, to love him. I was back to when Jacob and I use to hang out all the time. I could talk to him so easy. I miss those times, even with the aching hole in my heart.

I was knocked back into reality when I fell and Quil caught me.

"You ok Bella? You keep crying and falling. Do you want me to carry you?" Quil said in a soft whispering voice.

"I'm so sorry." I managed to say between sobs. He shot a desperate look at Sam who only shrugged. Sam looked around while I wiped more mud off my pants.

"This looks like a good place for the rest of the night. How are you hanging in there Bella?" He said pulling a twig from my hair. I said nothing. Quil was already putting out a tent and sleeping bag for me. Sam turned to start a fire. "You want something to eat? There is plenty of this food." Sam chuckled. Again I said nothing. I grabbed the sleeping bag and crawled into the tent. I just lay there looking into nothing. I hope I can sleep tonight.

Time seemed to slow down. I could hear Sam and Quil talking. "Did you find him Sam?" Quil tried to whisper. "Yea he was about 150 miles south of here. So tomorrow we run. He said he will only wait until midnight tomorrow. I figure we leave in about 3 hours. We should get there in 6 hours." Sam said in a soft monotone voice that was a little scary. I shuddered to think what was going through his mind. I felt sleep blow against my face and I welcomed it. Suddenly I was in a dream world full of white fog_. I was walking in the woods and the wind blew hard. I was light as a feather moving like a leaf against the wind. Then I landed in a clearing in a forest where the sun started to peek between the trees. I looked up to see patches of blue against the multicolored trees. I smiled slightly, watching the leaves play joyfully with the wind. There was still fog covering the forest floor. I heard footsteps slowly coming toward me. Then Jacob appeared in front of me. He stood on his hunches with the reddish brown hair on its ends. Then I shuddered and Edward walked up from behind me growling low. _

"_She's mine dog. Leave us alone. She has already made her choice!" Edward hissed. I stared in shock. I was not property! _

"_Let her choose now leech!" A grumbling snarl came from where Jacob stood. "She has a mind of her own. She does not belong to you, filthy bloodsucker!" I smiled to myself without showing. I needed help. Where were Sam and Quil? I called out for them. "Sam please help. Please help him. Don't let anything happen to my Jake!"_ I heard myself scream. Then I felt myself being shaken hard.

"Bella! Bella! Are you ok? What are you screaming about?" Quil asked me. I was in the air. I looked around. I realized that I had screamed out loud.

"I- I don't know." I said flushing bright red. I couldn't believe that I first of all scream outside of my dream and second of all that I chose. I chose Jacob. I started crying again. Quil handed me to Sam shaking his head. Sam shrugged his shoulders but he knew what I was going through inside. He had a similar situation between Leah and Emily. I looked up into his eyes and he only nodded slightly.

"We are going to leave in a little while Bella. Do you want to eat something or drink something before we go?" Sam was trying to distract me from the dream. I shook my head. I started gathering my things when I saw something in the distance move. Whatever it was moved so fast I thought it was my imagination. Then it moved again. I glanced behind me and Quil was the only one there. I figured that it was Sam scouting ahead. By the look of the sky it must have been early morning. The sun was not up yet but the dew had already fallen. I sat on over turned tree. After what seemed like forever Sam and Quil came to pick up the bags. We were off again. I walked or more like stumbled. Sam was whispering to Quil.

"We are going to change soon. You can ride on me and Quil will carry the bags." Sam said to me. I was spacing out. I was scared that Jacob would hate me. I was scared that I would hurt him again. I starting thinking that maybe I should just lose myself in the woods. I mounted Sam and held tightly trying not to pull on his soft black fur. Then we were off. I held on and lowered myself close to his back. My mind started to wonder again and all I could think about was Jacob's face. The face he made every time I hurt him. I knew I loved him. I knew that I wanted him to be in my life. I had been denying it so long that now it seems so obvious that we would end up together. We stopped suddenly and I realized that the sun was above us. I hopped off Sam's back and landed on the ground with a thud. I turned my back and kicked at a rock as they changed back. It felt so unreal to be out here looking for Jacob. My thoughts were interrupted by Quil.

"You hungry Bella?" Quil asked me. I nodded. My stomach growled and everyone chuckled lightly. Sam vanished into the woods to hunt as he said "some real food". I looked at Quil who was busying himself with the fire.

"Quil, can I ask you something?" I broke the silence. Quil jumped a little and slowly turned to face me. He had a quizzical look on his face. Then he only nodded his head. I took a deep breathe.

"You know that I love him right?" I didn't wait for an answer or understanding. I just needed to get this off my chest. "I know that if it were not for Edward we would be together. I know that we are soul mates. We talked about it the last day I saw him." I stopped abruptly trying to swallow sobs that were creeping into my throat. Quil said nothing, he only stood there waiting for me to finish. "I just don't want to hurt anyone. I am being so selfish. I think Jacob was right. That Edward is a drug to me. Even that night when I left his house I pulled over because I was crying so hard. Edward came to me but there was something inside me that was screaming or aching for Jacobs arms. Does that make me a monster?" I blinked and took a breath. Tears were streaming down my face already. Quil just stood there, thinking hard.

"Well Bella. I think that you are tearing yourself up to make a choice. I can't make it for you but you are going to have to look at what is good for you. And how each person makes you feel. I would suggest talking to Sam. You know he had to go through something like that with Leah and Emily." He said in one breath. He sighed and continued to pile more wood on the fire.

I knew that he really did not want to talk about this. I saw something move in the distance. I stood up fast and Quil just looked at me. I was still so scared. Not scared of something coming to kill me but I was scared that it would be Jacob. I'm not scared of him but of what I have to face when I see him. I sighed. I looked around me to see what Quil was doing but he wasn't there. I searched all around to look for him or Sam but found nothing. I heard more rustling in the distance. I swallowed hard then I started for the place where I heard the noise.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4 **

**Disclaimer: disclaimer- disclaimer: I own nothing but my own idea. All the character and the story line etc, belong to STEPHANIE MEYERS. **

**(A/N: ok so I just wanted to thank everyone who has read reviewed and added my story. I need so more reviews to let me know how I am doing so far. Even Flames are welcome. And without further due chapter 4. Also there is some lovin in this chap. So be aware. Nothing too nasty that may come later. HEE-HEE! Oh and this will probably be like a cliffy too sorry. (not really but enjoy it any way))**

I stumbled my way through the woods and over tree roots. The sunlight was splayed about. It looked like someone spray painted the forest with sunlight. I saw an open area in front of me so I pushed my way there. The clearing was beautiful. There were arrays of wild flowers. I bend over to take in the sweet smells that were escaping the flowers. I smiled lightly. When I stood back up I saw it. It was standing in front of me. Without thinking I started running to it. Tears started sneaking down my face. I jumped on it with my hands around its neck. I heard it moan.

"Oh Jacob!" I said kissing him ion his furry forehead. I stepped back to look in his eyes. Even as his wolf self I saw the pain in them. I was still crying. He nudged my shoulder with his nose. We just stood there staring at each other. The silence was thick but not uncomfortable. I hugged him again. I had to get on my toes to whisper in his ear.

"I choose to live." I whispered. He stepped back with a confused expression on his face. I looked directly in his eyes without blinking. He made a confused grunt.

"I said that I choose to live" I said again. Jacob turned around and took off running. I was left there with my mouth open. But before I could protest I saw him running towards me. I smiled as he ran to me. His bare chest glistening with sweat beads and his hair loose and free, he was a sight to behold. He reached me with open arms and grabbed me. We held each other for a while but not nearly long enough. Inside my thoughts were screaming with delight. I had my Jacob.

"oh Bella. I- I- I thought they were lying, I mean when Sam said you came to find me. I just can't believe it – its " He started but I grabbed his face and kissed him hard. He eagerly accepted and kissed me back. The kiss was pure bliss. _I could easily be addicted to him instead._ I thought. My hands had a mind of their own and started tracing over his chest and arms. There was sparks between us.

"Jacob, we need to talk!" I finally broke free from the kiss. He didn't let go but stared into my eyes. He simply nodded. We sat down and he pulled me on him.

"What about Bells?" He asked slowly caressing my face. I moaned a little. I looked at him then quickly looked away. I felt embarrassed. This was going to be hard but he needs to know everything. I took a deep breathe. _Ok here it goes. My heart on my sleeve and he can do what he will._ I thought as I began.

"Ok, do you remember when _he_ left me?" I looked at him. He only nodded so I continued. "Then we became very close. And I think that we still are if not closer. Anyway when I went to find him in Italy something bad happened. It was one of the reasons that I wanted to be changed." He looked intently at me but said nothing.

"There is a huge coven there. They let me live with the prospect of becoming one myself. So now I don't know what is going to happen. I mean now that I am not with him anymore. I mean that is if you still want me. I mean if we decide to be together. I mean um – well" I was trying to find the right words but it came out all wrong. He looked at me. His face was twisted up in the face he makes when he was thinking. I sighed. Then I tried to get up but he gripped tighter.

"Wait Bella! I want you too. You know that I love you and if you still think that being with that bloo- Edward, is what you want then I will let you go. Why didn't you ever tell me about the leeches in Italy?" He talked into my neck. I just wanted us to stay like this forever. He started kissing my neck. I wanted him so bad but.

"Please, Jake." I breathed. He looked at me not sure what to do. I could tell that he wanted me too. He moaned when I kissed his chest and neck. He stopped me.

"Bella. Was there anything else that you needed to tale me." He raised his eyebrow. I blinked at him unsure. He cleared his throat.

"What did you mean when you said that you choose to live?" He asked softly. I flushed a bright red. I was speechless. I opened my mouth but no words came out.

"I meant that I want to live. You know as in I want my heart to keep beating for as long as it will. Don't you get it crazy! I want you!" I finally said. My face turned a shade of red that I didn't know it could get. He sat there grinning at me. He knew what I meant! I swatted at him playfully. We ended up laying on the ground laughing. I started kissing him again. This time he didn't push me away from him. We touched each other like never before.

My shirt was off somehow. Jacob touched me softly on my breast like he thought they would break. He kissed me in between them before reaching for my pants. I took a deep breathe but did not stop him. Instead I responded by going for his pants. I think that I shocked him. Kissing all the while we slowly undressed each other. He caught his breathe when I was fully exposed. The sun was setting in the distance but it somehow caught the twinkle in his gorgeous black eyes. Time meant nothing to us. We were where we wanted to be. Together. We progressed on with the declaration of our love. He was so gentle but it was incredible. He pushed in me and I felt pain that turned into extreme ecstasy. I moaned and wrapped my legs around his back. I never knew how good this could feel. He went faster and I sank my nails into his back. He moaned and kissed my neck. "Oh Bells." He would say and I would return with "My Jake. oh I love you." That made him go slightly harder. He licked me around my breast then to my neck where he bit me passionately. I moaned and sank my nails deeper then dragged them the length of his back. When we finished I could has sworn that he howled. I grinned up at him as he stared down into my eyes. He bent closer to me and kissed my forehead. He lay down next to me still holding me. We fell asleep there on the field. The night cooled off immensely but with Jake was so close I was sweating. (Still) We were naked and sleeping on the soft earth. It felt like a dream. Everything was perfect at last. Or was it?

_What about Edward? What are you going to do about him?_ There was a small voice in my head asking me those things. I shivered. _I dreamed about Edward coming to look for me. He found me here with Jacob like this and he became enraged. And a fight pursued. I screamed at Edward. Leave him alone. You said that you would let me chose. I choose to live. I want Jake. We are meant to be!" I cried out running toward them as they were facing off. I threw myself in front of Jake's massive russet wolf self. He bent down and hugged me. I kissed him on the side. "Please don't. We can run away. I can't live without you." I sobbed. _

"Bella? Are you ok? You were crying." Jacob said waking me with a kiss on my back. I nodded. Should I say anything?

"I just hope that we are safe. I don't think that _he_ will be angry or anything. I just want you to be safe." I finally stated sitting up. It was early morning or late night. I think early morning. We heard something coming this way. Jacob sat up quickly and searched for our clothes.

"Bella! Bella! Damn where did that girl get to? Quil do you see her?" It was Sam. He was looking for me. I looked up at Jacob whose smile spread across his face. When Quil was almost on us Jacob jumped up at him. Quil jumped back and exploded into his form. Jacob fell out laughing rolling around on the ground. Sam came running and nearly fell over me. I shrieked and grabbed what I thought was my shirt. I scrambled to find a safe place away and hopefully my pants at least.

"JAKE!!! What the hell!" Sam said as he leaped in the air to pin Jacob down. Jacob, who was still laughing uncontrollably on the ground, just lay there with Sam pinning him down.

"Uh, Sam, Bella might not be too happy if she sees us like this!" he giggled. Sam looked confused for a half a second and jumped off. He wiped at his pants. Then Sam looked around to find me on the ground not to far away, my face was bright red, in a ball trying to hide my self from them. A huge grin washed over his face. He pulled Jacob up and hugged him brotherly. Quil, who was not to far away (and also very naked), started howling. Sam gave me a huge thanking smile. He pulled off his shirt and threw it at me. I blushed even more but put it on as fast as I could.

"Thanks" I mumbled as I stood up and let the shirt fall. It went right above my knees thankfully. Jacob came and grabbed my waist and nuzzled into my neck. I blushed more.

"So. What's new?" Quil said when he found his back up pair of pants. We all started laughing. Jacob never left my side. This was a good thing because it was freezing. Sam looked up at the moon. He seemed to be concentrating on something. I heard a low muffled growl. They all were smelling the air. I froze. I knew already. _Edward!_ I thought. I shivered this time was not for the cold. I was nervous. I still loved him and he did deserve an explanation for my choice. So I took a deep breathe. I stood up. Jacob grabbed me and looked at me pleadingly. I only touch his soft face and smiled.

**Sorry but please review, was this a good chapter or not? I would like to know what your feelings, thoughts, or what ever are. Can't wait until next!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

**Disclaimer: disclaimer- disclaimer: I own nothing but my own idea. All the character and the story line etc, belong to STEPHANIE MEYERS. I need so more reviews to let me know how I am doing so far. Even Flames are welcome. Here is Chapter 5!!! Oh and its kinda short and totally a cliffy! Enjoy!!!**

"I have to tell him something. He deserves at least that. I promise I will be back." I took a deep breathe and started walking towards the woods. I still only had on Sam's shirt. I suddenly became so self conscious.

I felt the wind stop. I found a log to sit on and I waited for him to come. I knew it was him. Alice would have seen me disappear because of my choice. It was only a matter of time that he came looking for me. I was not ready but I was as ready as I will ever be. I still had on the ring he gave me. I played with it absent-mindly. I felt a cool breeze across the nape of my neck. And there he was sitting next to me. I could tell that he already knew. The look in his eyes gave him away. I looked down. I couldn't face him. I slowly slide off the ring and held it hard in my hand.

"I know you choose him Bella." He broke the silence with his velvet voice. Here was this magnificent creature sitting before wearing his "heart" on his sleeve. I was astonished! My heart leap knowing that he still loved me but it broke at the thought.

"Edward. I –I don't know what to say. I do choose to live. If I stay with you I can not do that. You will always have a place in my heart but --- I" I couldn't find the words. His eyes were icier than ever before. The beautiful topaz color seemed to be draining. I looked at his hands and they were clinched in fist. He took a deep breath and nodded. He made two steps to make it to my side. He grabbed my hands, one of which still clutched his ring.

"Look into my eyes Bella and tell me you choose the dog- I mean Jacob- over me." He ended with a crack in his voice. I knew I couldn't look into his eyes. They mesmerize me every time I look into them. I sighed and shook my head. His hands started to trace my jaw and down my neck. I shuddered. "_What are you doing? Just give him the damn ring and run back to Jacob_." The voices screamed at me. I started crying and this time I listened to the voices. I pushed Edward away and grabbed one of his hands. Gently I put the ring in the middle of his palm and closed his fingers around them. I kissed his hand and let it go.

"I am so sorry Edward. I will always love you but Jacob and I- well we **need** each other. Goodbye my love." With that I turned and ran toward where Jacob was waiting for me. I knew Edward could catch me if he wanted to. And of course me like an idiot had a small piece of me wishing that he would.

Then I saw Jacob standing at the edge of the clearing. Sam and Quil were behind him a little further off. I could tell that he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw me running to him. Then his eyes became dangerous and he started for me. I was stunned! At first my heart jumped into my throat then I felt a cold hand grab my hand. I turned to see Edward's eyes barring down into mine.

"Bella. I- I really need to talk to you more. I need to completely understand why! Why the dog?" Edward said pleading me with his eyes to hold him. I could hear Jacob, Quil and Sam behind me. Sam was trying to calm Jacob down because he was shaking and growling uncontrollable. I looked down at my hands that were now shaking. I knew the tears were still streaking my face but I did not care. I did need to get everything off my chest. I looked into Edwards eyes and I grabbed his hands in my own.

"Edward. I am sorry. I never expected that my love for Jacob would have grown so much. It is only natural that he and I are together. If you never came back or almost killed yourself with thee Volturi I know that Jake and I would be together. We need each other. Just like I needed you for so long. Please forgive me my love. My heart will always have beats for you. I – I love Jacob so much though and needs me. He helped me close up the hole that you left me when you left." He grimaced at that. I was not trying to make him feel bad just to understand. I needed him to understand that I love him but the love I have for Jacob was different.

"I don't want to be addicted to you. I want to live. I want to – to live Edward!" and with that I fell to my knees which some how ripped Sam's shirt up the side. My pale thigh showed. The blue veins pulsated and I could feel Edwards intense stare. I was sobbing heavily when I heard grass crumple around me. Edward had taken a few steps back then knelt down to be at me side. He kissed me gently in my hair. My heart was still beating nearly out my chest.

"Bella. My Isabella! I will wait for you! I know that I will never again find another like you. But as I have said before I want you to have a normal human existence. An existence I never was able to have or give you." He turned to look Jacob in the eyes even though he was still further off. "You better take care of her-Dog! I will be watching always and waiting so know that." His voice was near a snarl. He was gone before I lifted my head. I opened my hand and the ring. His mothers ring was there. I cried more. _Am I doing the right thing? What about when the time comes for Aro to send someone. It will be soon. What will I do then? I will not risk Jacob and the pack for myself. _I had to think about how I would handle everything.

I felt like I was flying. Jacob had me in his arms. His warm hand running through my hair. His kisses on my neck and head warmed me too. I do love him. I looked up into his eyes. They were full of love for me. My heart melted. I did not deserve two great guys who were willing to do anything for me. I am so selfish. I sighed again. Jacob kissed me on the cheek.

"I love you Bells." He whispered so low it was almost just a vibration in his chest. I nuzzled into his chest. He smiled. I reached my hand up to run my fingers through his hair. We kissed (again). Everything seemed to vanish except for us. He gently tore Sam's shirt off of me the rest of the way. Then he lined my body with warm kisses. He stopped at each breast to taste them fully. A moan escaped my body as I let him explore my body further. I let nature take hold of me while my hands started to examine his body. Somehow my hands always ended in his hair. He laid me gently on the soft earth and slowly got on top of me. He just rubbed his self causing friction between my body and his. Tears were still creeping down my cheek but Jacob kissed them away. His kisses were thrilling and sensual. When he finally slid inside me I almost howled! This was more fervent than the first time. He groped every inch of my body. My body convulsed in ecstasy. He groaned in delight at my reaction. I could feel _him_ pulsating inside me. We were made into one. Our spirit forms seemed to exit from our bodies intertwining as we both burst into each other.

We were interrupted when Sam said; "Um. Can we go home now?" he laughed out the last part. Then there I was naked again in front of Sam and Quil. But thankfully they had their backs turned. I turned redder than I already was from Jacob's heat. This time Jacob yanked Quil's shirt off and gave it to me smiling tenderly. I smiled back with so much love. I still had Edward's ring in my hand. I pulled on Quil's shirt and stood up. Jacob picked me up and threw me over his back grinning.

"So Bella, are you ready to go home and spread the news?" Quil yelled out from behind them. They were already running through the woods. I continued to smile wide.

"What is everyone going to say about us?" I whispered into Jacobs's ear. He stopped so fast that I almost got whip-lash! He placed me on the ground gently and bent over to look directly into my eyes.

"Bella, I love you more than life itself. But if you are having second thoughts about us, I will respect you. I know you love me but this is your decision to make." I could hear the pain. My mouth fell. Finally something snapped inside me. I didn't want to everyone to be so nice to me.

"JACOB!! I want you! I need you! I have already made my decision and I am looking at it!" I screamed. Sam and Quil just stared at me like I was the crazy one. Jacob stepped back then a huge smile spread across his face and he looked just like _my_ old Jacob. I smiled sheepishly at him. He lunges towards me and scooped me up twirling me around. I fastened my hands around his neck and pressed our foreheads together.

"Stay with me forever" I whispered softly. When he kissed me I knew he heard me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Disclaimer: disclaimer- disclaimer: I own nothing but my own idea. All the character and the story line etc, belong to STEPHANIE MEYERS. I need so more reviews to let me know how I am doing so far. Even Flames are welcome. I know it's a little short but enjoy.**

**Sorry to everyone about not updating sooner but here is the next one out. Let me know what you think. Oh and this is a little push for another great fanfic writer, 3Es Queen, check out her stories I love them so maybe you will too!**

"_Stay with me forever" I whispered softly. When he kissed me I knew he heard me._

"I have to because you're my heart." He said into my ear while nuzzling my neck. Sam cleared his throat again to break us away from our own world. We all laughed heartily.

"Come on let's go home. I miss my Em." Sam said grabbing a bag and walking away. Quil followed still laughing. Jacob and I started off too. Someone found my shoes so I was able to walk a while. I managed to shove Edward's ring in my camping bag. I sighed with the thought that he wouldn't take the ring back. Alice! What would she think of me? And Esme, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, or even Rosalie! They will probably think that I am so stupid. Oh well I will just have to wait until I can see them again to tell them.

"Are you ok Bella? You seem pretty quiet." Jacob said pulling me on his back again. I smiled.

"I am just worried about the future. You know it's weird that's all. I know you are what I want but I am still scared about everything else." I muttered more to myself than to him but I knew he would hear me. He didn't respond with words. He only nodded.

"I will protect you if they come for you" he finally said as an after thought and pulled on his back. I shuddered a little but not for being on his back. He started to run; faster and faster, like he could smell something. I tried to look back but wasn't able to since I was holding on for dear life. We got back to La Push faster than we had left it. I was amazed at how fast Jacob could run. He was fast and so graceful. He took me to the beach. Our spot. And we sat there starring up at the stars. Jacob sat up on his elbows and traced my face and neck with his warm fingers. I closed my eyes and breathed him in.

"We should get you home Bella. I am sure that Charlie is worried sick about you. Besides that he may not like to see you in nothing but a shirt." He added the last part picking up the bottom of the shirt to reveal the treasure underneath. I laughed turning red and swat his hand away.

"You are right Jacob, so lets get going before he get home. Or he may have to shot you for stealing me." I chuckled as I got to my feet. We walked hand in hand to Billy's place so Jacob could get the rabbit. I went inside to go to the bathroom before we were on our way. Billy was sitting in the living room with the TV on. I heard voices so I slowed my walk to a snail pace.

"Yes, they are back? Jake's with them? Oh that is great, and Bella? Really? Oh wow, I must admit that I am very surprised. Do you know when they will get here? Any minute you say. Ok then thanks Sam. Oh yea sure I'll let him know." I wondered what had Sam told him and if he would tell Charlie anything. I forgot about the bathroom and went out to Jacob. He smiled when he saw me running to him.

"Let's go say hi to Billy. I am sure he is dying to see us!" I said slightly out of breathe. Jacob smiled even wider and nodded. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the house.

"Dad!! Dad! I am home. What's for dinner?" Jacob called out as soon as we hit the door. Billy rolled around the corner from the living room. He smiled at us and the look in his eyes was a mixture of gratitude and relief. I smiled at him.

"Hey Billy! How are you doing?" I asked casually. He nodded and waved us to the living room. We followed mechanically and sat on the couch. I sighed; I knew we were in for a good talking to.

"So Sam just called. Wants you to call him back Jake. And um you might want to wait to give all the details to Charlie. I just got my son back I don't want him to get shot any time soon" We all laughed at the last part. Billy cleared his throat to let us know there was more. Jacob was still holding on to my hand. Billy looked at it and raised an eyebrow.

"What's this?" He pointed at our hands intertwined. "I mean what happened with Edward? Well what I mean is how did this come to be?" he stumbled out. I grinned at Jacob who was chuckling.

"Well- Um" I said clearing my throat of invisible phlegm. "I choose to live." I shrugged. My face was burning and I felt like I was going to pass out.

"Dad, Bella choose me. We are going to be together. I um- ugh- imprinted on her-(this part he half mumbles)- but I wanted to let her choose. She needed to be the one that decided what she was going to do with her life." He stares up at the ceiling and at the floor to not make eye contact with me or Billy. Billy who was now beaming with pride just nodded. He looked at me and smiled.

"My son, are you sure that it is her." Jacob only nodded. It seemed like he was kind of sad that it was me. I felt tears stinging my eyes and shot up to run to the bathroom. They both watched me as I ran off.

"I am fine. I'll be right back" I croaked as I passed. In the bathroom I stared at myself in the little mirror. I can not believe that this is really happening. Why am I doubting myself. I love Jacob. I love him so much. _But what about Edward. You loved him too and look what you have done to him. You are not worth this. _I heard the little voice in my head tell me. I knew I was not worth this but I wanted Jacob. I took a deep breath and splashed some cold water on my face. When I walked out the bathroom they had stopped talking.

"Um Billy do you mind if I go home now. I would like to see my dad. Jacob I can a ride from someone else if you need to talk to your dad more." Jacob shot a distressing look at Billy.

"No Bella, he can take you home. We will finish our talk later. Oh and Bella." I turned to him. He grabbed one of my hands and looked deep into my eyes. "Thank you for bringing him home." I only nodded and walked toward the door. Jacob was right behind me.

"You are not mad are you? Cause of what we were talking about." I stopped to look at him. I gave him a weak smile.

"Of course not. I am not mad. I know that I will probably have the same kind of talk with Charlie. So without further a due lets take me home." I started to run to the car. Jacob came up behind me and picked me up. We laughed the rest of the way to the rabbit. He put me in and closed the door behind me. My things were already in the back so that was one less thing I had to worry about.

We got to Charlie's and thankfully he was not there yet. We ran into the house. Jacob brought in my things. He carried me up the stairs us laughing all the way. When we reached my room Jacob froze. He placed me down and went in front of me. I started to wonder what was he doing then he hit me. Edwards smell is all over my room. To my surprise when he opened the door and there on my bed.

"Bella!" She squealed and ran towards me. We hugged a long sisterly embrace. I knew Jacob was fuming but he didn't start to shake or anything.

"Alice!??" I squealed!


	7. UPDAte!

I started this story before Breaking Dawn came out but after reading it I was terribly disappointed. And not just because I love Jacob but everything. So I am starting over. And this is how I thought Breaking Dawn would have been. I also wanted to say to all those who have been reading my story thanks. And to all those who actually liked the new book, sorry but I was expecting so much more. This is basically the same as the first except longer chapters and more info. I hope you like it as much as I had writing it. So starting over isn't easy and I hope all you readers that read this one will have fun with the redo! Oh! And come on people don't be afraid to review.

**DISCLAIMER DISCLIAMER: THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYERS AND THIS IS JUST MY TAKE ON HOW THE BOOK SHOULD HAVE GONE. I DO NOT THINK THAT THERE WILL BE ANY SPOILERS BUT BE AWARE!!! RATED M FOR VILOENCE, SEX AND LANGUAGE. PLEASE ENJOY.**

**Disclaimer: disclaimer- disclaimer: I own nothing but my own idea. All the character and the story line etc, belong to STEPHANIE MEYERS. **


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